Happy Festivus, the holiday for the rest of us!

Festivus actually has a history outside of Seinfeld, as described here.

Frank Costanza himself, Jerry Stiller, was on CNN this morning discussing Festivus. Just after the 2:00 mark an awkward moment occurs with the Festivus pole in the studio :) Mr. Stiller also expresses some strong feelings about aluminum.



What a wonderful life and marriage he and his wife, Ann Meara, have had - nearly 60 years of laughter together, and funny kids, too. I remember watching their comedy routines on TV as a kid, and they are still going strong.

Now on with the Airing of Grievances and Feats of Strength!
Oh, and Happy Birthday to me :-P

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

A family pranks a girl who has just cooked her first turkey...why yes, she is a (bottle) blonde!

The kid at the end is cute too :)

Now that the election is over...

These two ads rose above the muck and became my favorites of this election season. Love how Jerry Brown, winner of California's race for Governor, used former eBay honcho and self-financed candidate Meg Whitman's own words from her own ad to turn the tables on her




Next is unsuccessful Vermont Senate Democratic primary candidate Daniel Freilich, a physician, with a pledge, on a cow....YAAAAHHHH!!!



Thank God/FSM/whoever your Higher Power might be that it's over for now.

NO MORE ROBOCALLS!!

Music for the reluctant studyer

via 8tracks.com

Sweet 2+ hours of ambient music - turn on in another tab while you surf or write - lovely.

Graceful feats of strength

While some of us sit on the couch and watch TV or surf the web, others are developing their physicality to its fullest extent. Everyone featured here appears to have a natural and elegant physique, unlike freakish-looking bodybuilders and others that use performance-enhancing drugs.

The human body at its finest...

Ivan Zubkevych performs a strap routine




Yulia Mikhaylova




Felix Cane has won several international pole dancing titles and performs in the Cirque du Soleil show Zumanity in Vegas. Most of the videos of her online are grainy cellphone vids that don't do her justice (as is this one), but this is the first I saw of her and it made me a fan




Dima Shine aka Dmitry Bulkin, combines a shorter pole with extreme handstanding, to wondrous effect




Mallakhamb is a traditional Indian gymnastic sport performed on a pole simulating a mast on a ship, as well as other apparatus. The training is believed to have developed to enable quick scaling of a ship's mast in times of distress. While there is music in the video, mallakhamb is not normally performed to music and is considered more of a spiritual exercise



Let's finish up with a little parkour, shall we? This is Damien Walters




I'm gonna go put my lazy self on my bike now...

Guess where the Orlando Magic are playing their preseason opener tonight?

In (well, close to) a cotton field in the Rio Grande Valley



(photo by Josh Robbins, for and via Orlando Sentinel)

Per the Sentinel's Magic Basketblog, it was the Houston Rockets, as the home team, who elected to play the preseason opener in the Valley at the State Farm Arena, capacity 6200 for basketball.

I wish I had known - I would've made it a point to go and cheer on Dwight Howard and the rest. I'd probably have had a closer and less expensive seat there than I ever will at the new Amway Center, which is now open after ten years or so of political bickering.

This proud EHS grad and former Pan Am (now known as UT Pan Am) attendee is getting a giggle from the fact that, after all the rigmarole and fanfare of the Magic getting their new spectacular arena and having it finally open, they are tipping off their season next to a cotton field in the Valley :)

That being said...GO MAGIC!

UPDATE: Magic won 97-88

No pity for you!

You know how sometimes you're having a pretty shitty day and feeling sorry for yourself, and then someone or something comes along and makes you realize what a lameass pity party you're having and you'd better just snap out of it and be grateful for what you have?

This might be one of those times. What a beautiful young mom and family.



More here.

Interesting thread on Reddit today

Yesterday I found out my child was molested

Did you watch the Miss Universe pageant last night?

I didn't either, but these four Filipino guys did, and they celebrated in an elegant and understated manner when Miss Philippines made the top 15 ... if you're impatient, skip to 2:15 to see that, but the whole vid is hilarious :)

(For the record, the winner was Miss Mexico)

Fun with Amazon.com

Have you ever taken the time to read customer product reviews on internet shopping site Amazon? Some of the web's best and snarkiest creative writing can be found there. A small sampling:

The classic Three Wolf Moon t-shirt;

The giant wine glass that holds a whole bottle of wine;

And my personal favorite, Tuscan whole milk!

Pay attention to the sections "Customers who viewed/bought this item also viewed/bought..." -- some additional giggles there.

Birthdays

Twenty-two years ago tomorrow, a small human being was removed from my body. He looked like this back then



Amazingly, his father and I somehow managed to keep him alive and fairly well into (supposed) adulthood, for which I am grateful. He is much larger now, but still very cute, and I love him with all my heart.

Some people are very negative about their own birthdays passing by year after year, dreading the occasion and not even wanting it discussed. I guess I’ve never understood this dread, since 1) we can’t control it, and 2) in my mind I am permanently an adolescent (in a silly, carefree way, not the angsty way) so I don’t care. Birthdays are even marketed to us this way after a “certain age,” with the “Over the Hill” type merchandise and greeting cards focusing on wrinkles, immobility, incontinence and decreased libido, as if we should just roll over and die now and spare the world the agony of watching us age. Screw that.

To me, birthdays are the time to celebrate that this loved one, be it family, sisters, nieces and nephews, friends, etc., entered the world on this day and made it a better place in their own way by doing so. It is a time to let a valued person know that we are glad they were born and that they have touched our lives. I am very glad my son was born and he has enriched my life tremendously. While there have been difficult times, and I have been in places and situations I would have never dreamt I’d be in as his parent, I would change very little and I love him and am proud of the person he is, and is becoming.

Having said all this, I wonder if other parents become as contemplative as I do on my son’s birthday. One’s life irrevocably changes once one reproduces or otherwise becomes a parent – your life as you knew it previously, which was more than likely all about yourself, is forever over. I even note his birth time on the clock every year – 10:50 a.m. – and think to myself, “yep, that was it.” An instant in time forever impacting my life, in a way I would never give back.

Happy Birthday, kid. I love you, and I am glad you were born.

Just Because

an oldie - see Know Your Meme

The 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time, by Harry Hanrahan

It's been a lousy 10 days or so, and I came home from work today in a particularly crappy mood, but stumbling on this put a smile on my grumpy-ass face. I knew nothing on first look about who compiled this or why, but it made my day.

Warning - 10 minutes of deliciously delivered NSFW language here. One of my favorite snippets is at 2:47.

Fun game to play as you watch - how many of the movies can you identify? The list is here, along with more info on Harry Hanrahan and other videos he's put together.

Dad

For the past few years on Father's Day, farker Spontn80 has posted a thread on fark.com asking, "What would you say to your dad today?" -- a bittersweet read as hundreds of posters acknowledge their feelings, positive or negative, toward their fathers (along with plenty of snark, as is normal there).

"Dear Daddy"...what would you say to your Dad today?

(Click on "BareFootMusicNews" to the left of the thread title to read Spontn80's own response and to hear a song he wrote for his dad.)

Reading some of these stories about dads abandoning their families makes me feel terrible for those who endured it. This includes my dad, whose father left him and his brother at a young age to be raised eventually by aunts as their mom died young also. Apparently his father did try to connect with him and his brother throughout their childhood but the aunts did not allow it – yet more sadness in these poor kids’ lives.

My dad was a man’s man. I’m sure abandoning his family was the furthest thought from his mind. He was a hard working man at work and at home, holding four jobs at a time for many years while keeping his wife and daughters housed, clothed and fed comfortably. With all this he still found time to contribute to the church and community, running basketball tournaments, skating shows, dances and other fundraisers. We were not rich by any means, but we had everything we needed and some of what we wanted, which was more than many people can say. He was not lazy and did not suffer fools. The houses we lived in were well maintained by his hands – he was always painting, tuckpointing, planting, trimming, mowing or fixing something, often with Mom at his side. He rose early every morning, prayed his Rosary, wrote in his daily calendar and planned his day. He allowed himself to relax, drink (plenty) and watch TV in the evenings only after everyone and everything else was taken care of.

What would I say to Dad today?

I miss you, Dad, and I wish I didn’t lose you so young. I wish I didn’t fuck up in college when I was younger, and I wish you got to see me graduate nursing school. Thankfully Mom did before she died not long after you. There are so many things I have wished I could talk to you about over the years, and even now. I wish I could talk to you about your childhood and young adulthood (although you probably wouldn’t answer – you didn’t usually like to get too deep about stuff like that). You certainly didn’t have it easy growing up, but you overcame much of that and raised your children without passing that pain you must have had on to us. I admire you and thank you for that.

When younger, I resented your chauvinism, specifically your forbidding us to go to college for anything other than teaching or nursing. (“You can become anything you want, after you do this.”) I wanted to pursue either journalism or veterinary science, but that was out of the question for you. Also, when to everyone’s surprise I made the state choir in high school and was offered the opportunity to audition for vocal scholarships, your and Mom’s response was, “Don’t bother with that. All you’ll ever get to be is a music teacher.” Says who, and would that have been so bad? I kind of resented that too. Still do a little bit :-P (that’s an emoticon, Dad – it means I’m sticking my tongue out at you)

Your thinking at the time was women can always get jobs if they are teachers or nurses, so we’d be able to work and take care of our children if our husband walked out on us. This belief definitely was a product of your upbringing. Times were changing all around you as you were raising your daughters and I don’t blame you for keeping that mindset – you just wanted your daughters and their children to be safe and well if tough times came along in life. And you know what? They have been, Dad.

I’m sorry you never had a son. I’m sure you wanted one.

Thank you, Dad, for showing us all around our beautiful country in the station wagon and camper, and for taking some of us to Ireland and teaching us about where our ancestors came from. The memory of Mom closing her eyes and leaning in toward you in terror as you would drive us over bridges or on mountainsides, as if this would save her if we went over, gives me giggles to this day...

One of the biggest regrets of my life is that I did not come to you and Mom about what was happening to me. At the time I was incapable of understanding what was going on or why, and you all had so many problems of your own also, with you getting cancer twice, and then Mom, and I didn’t want to pile onto you further. It was scary when you were sick. Part of it, too, was due to the fact that you both were older, and in my kid mind I think I was afraid of killing you if I told you this. It was a secret, and I knew it and kept it until it nearly killed me. In hindsight though, I wish I could have a do-over. Although it would have been exquisitely painful and difficult for you and everyone else concerned, I think you and Mom would have handled it better than some others did when the secret came out after your deaths, and maybe our surviving family would not be permanently fractured by it as they are now.

Dad, I have to say if you had to go (which we all do), I’m glad you went the way you did. You were in such a good mood that afternoon! You were singing and you may have even played the piano that day. You didn’t do that often, but you sure were good at it. I had bought a harmonica at Ford City that day, learned a song on it in the car on the way home and played it for you, which you got a kick out of. Mom and I went out that evening, and when we came home you were propped up in bed with the TV on, legs crossed, drink on the nightstand, apparently dozing. Nothing out of the ordinary. Mom talked to you about whatnot as she hung up her coat, and then began to scream for me because she realized although you were there, you were gone.

The aftermath of this was very tough on Mom and the rest of us, but thank God you fell asleep in your bed and died comfortably without suffering.

Finally, Dad, I have to thank you for not just showing me love in your Merlinesque ways, but also for letting us grow up as children of a long-lasting marriage between a couple truly in love. You and Mom were made for each other, and it showed in every moment of your relationship, from you lovingly rubbing her feet to her making sure her lipstick and eyeshadow were on just right when she knew you were on your way to the hospital to see her, to the way you two handled the best and worst life threw at you as a team. I cannot recall ever seeing or hearing one of you behaving disrespectfully toward the other. Truly extraordinary and appreciated.

I love you, Dad. Thanks for everything.





Funny Dad story – when I was in nursing school, I worked weekends as an aide in a nursing home (for $3.10/hr, the hardest work I’ve ever done for the least amount of money I’ve ever made, but that’s a story for another time). Once I was giving a bedbath to an elderly man who had had several strokes leaving him completely immobile and unable to speak. As I bathed him, he became erect, which made me extraordinarily uncomfortable (I was about 20 at the time), and I didn’t know how to handle this.

Later on I was sitting at the kitchen table with Dad watching TV and for some reason I told him about this – I have no idea why as we normally never discussed anything remotely of a sexual nature. Dad’s response:

“If he can still do that, he doesn’t need you washing him.”

End of conversation.

Bonjour!

For Caturday, Les Petits Chanteurs à la Croix de Bois - Le Duo des Chats

Only one lyric, sung sweetly by two choirboys in 1996

Movin' on...

Our next stop after Kusadasi was supposed to be Santorini, Greece, a small mountaintop town accessible only by foot, cable car or donkey. After pulling into port, we were unfortunately told that all excursions to Santorini that day were canceled due to high winds and the cable car not functioning. This was a major bummer as we had a food and wine tour scheduled for that day – I would have gladly taken the donkey! Alas, we pulled out of port and the Captain told us we’d remain at sea for the day.

Later, he announced we would stop at a very small island called Milos for the afternoon; he told us, however, ”don’t expect much from Milos.” Hopefully nobody did, because about an hour later the stop to Milos was canceled due to a loss of electricity on the island rendering their computers and passport processing station nonfunctional. I guess things really are tough in Greece these days!

The next stop, Zakynthos, Greece, went well, but we weren’t there long. Sweet little town - I took a cheesy little "Tourist Train" for 5 euros. Saw some fishermen come in with their catch. They were slicing up this fish right on the side of the road and selling the slices to passersby



Unfortunately, right after I took this picture, one of the fishermen reached into a bucket, pulled out a large octopus, grabbed it by its legs and began repeatedly smashing its head against the side of the boat to kill it. This made me incredibly sad as octopuses are so intelligent and sensitive – what a horrible death.

Next was Sicily. We took a day tour called “The Land of the Godfather” which was simply fantastic. Sicily is mountainous and in full bloom this time of year. Nearly all kinds of vegetation grows there, from cacti and succulents to all kinds of fruits, vegetables and flowering plants. I had no idea how mountainous Sicily was, and the bus rides up and down the mountains were harrowing with hairpin turns on extremely narrow roads.





Everyone in Sicily has beautiful flowers blooming on their porch



Here's a shot of our photographer



Here he is again outside the bar where a pivotal scene in "The Godfather" was shot - the bar is unchanged after all these years



The view from our balcony in Sicily - that is the toe of Italy's boot in the background



Today we have visited Positano and Amalfi – I am sitting in a café in Amalfi right now putting this post together (finally found free internet – yay!). These are two gorgeous towns around a mountain from each other. Here’s a few pics I took today - note the little houses perched precariously on the sheer rock...

Fog in the mountains over Positano



A view of Amalfi from the dock



The Cathedral of St. Andrew (Sant Andrea) in Amalfi - there are 66 steps leading to the entrance



Next is Rome and Florence – hopefully can update later.

By the way, these are not the best pics I have - I had to pick and choose a few to upload to flickr from thumbnails while sitting in the sun - kind of a crapshoot. I guess I did ok :)

I finally got out of the house!

So I am on the 2nd day of a 10-day Mediterranean cruise that started in Athens. I had hoped to upload pics to flickr and make a blog post every day, but the internet on the ship is verrrrry slow and ridiculously expensive, so that probably won’t be happening, unless I can find free wifi on shore some days.

We did have a great – although too short – tour today of the ruins of Ephesus in Turkey. The New Testament book of the Bible Ephesians consists of Paul’s letters to the people of this ancient city. It is actually a massive archeological dig in progress, and only about 10% is considered to be uncovered at this point. It is stunning to walk down the same streets that Paul and other Biblical figures walked down 2000 years ago. I took about 100 pictures of this fascinating place but probably won’t be able to get them up on flickr until I get home. So until then I’ll appeal to the lowest common denominator of possible readers and post these



Yes, it's an ancient public restroom!






On a more appropriate note, a view of the goddess Nike



a very well-preserved unearthed sarcophagus



and a local resident



More later as the internet gods allow...

This is why I am not on Facebook

Facebook was letting friends spy on each others' chats, via Valleywag

"Privacy settings" - this term means whatever Facebook wants it to mean for their purposes at any given time. It does not mean what users think it means, i.e. protecting their online privacy.

See also 10 Reasons to Delete Your Facebook Account. Although item #9 is weak, some tough points are made against Facebook's business practices. Click on the links throughout this piece to explore these issues further. Very well done.

Update: the author of the above just posted a followup on his blog.

Some would argue blogging on a Google service isn't much better, and that may be. There are too many security lapses on Facebook for my comfort level, however, and the M.O. of the company seems to be to entice users into becoming comfortable with making personal information available and accessible online so they (Facebook) can own, mine and exploit it for their own purposes. I choose not to participate in that.

Who doesn't love dancing American soldiers?

Some bored soldiers in Afghanistan made a video to Lady Gaga's "Telephone" (much like the flamboyant lingerie dancer a couple posts down did), and it's fantastic! Great to see those who sacrifice so much to serve our country engaged in a little fun on their downtime. It's difficult to be miserable when dancing with friends!





But wait - there's more! Here's soldiers in Iraq dancing to "the Ding Dong Song," with a little practical joke played on a comrade after the credits roll





Here's a couple Marines making boring work more fun by doing the cha cha slide - watch some of the others try to resist but eventually give in and dance also






More Marines - this is captioned "field day was boring so we decided to dance"






Two soldiers perform a silent Electric Slide for some locals





While not actually in the battlefield when filmed, these soldiers at the US Air Force Academy make good work of Ke$ha's "Tik Tok" - it looks like their instructor might even be in it :)

So, how's that hopey changey stuff goin' for ya?

Hmmm...pretty okay for me



From my latest 401k statement

A rejuvenated Magic fan

Basketball gods smiled upon me Friday, as I was generously and luckily gifted two tickets to the Orlando Magic game vs. the New York Knicks.

Once upon a time I was part of a group of Magic season ticket holders – there were five of us, and we got eight home games each. This was during a turbulent time in the Magic’s history, post-Shaq and devolving into Penny Hardaway becoming full of himself and leading a coaching coup. I loved going to the games with my son, and there were real standup men and great players on the team then, including Darrell Armstrong, Bo Outlaw, Nick Anderson and Pat Garrity.

After the games, we would hang out behind the arena with other fans and offer our homemade signs up to the players for autographs, and enjoy some camaraderie. The above noted players always rose to this occasion, as did others.

Penny Hardaway was an exception. He acted like a spoiled brat on and off the court. He continually demanded “respect,” not understanding that respect is earned by how one conducts oneself as a sportsman and a human, not demanded. If it looked like the win was in hand, his efforts on the court ceased. Penny swore at my son once when he proffered a sign he had made for him.

Eventually, some of my other season ticket buddies and I let them go. This just wasn’t fun, or worth the cash. I even stopped watching the team on TV or reading about them in the paper, going from a totally devoted fan to an almost completely lapsed one.

Then I attended the game on April 9th, and saw an entirely different and utterly incredible and gorgeous team. I don’t think I’ve seen better basketball in person in my lifetime. Not necessarily the game – it was a blowout, with the Magic taking the lead at 1:33 in the first quarter and never losing it – but how well the Magic functioned as a team, and how they never stopped playing until the game was over, even though they had it won clearly early on.

Most notable was the near absence of trashy/dirty play, whining, pouting, or flopping on both sides. There were few trips to the free-throw line, especially in the first half. No one was a ball hog, and nobody choked the coach. Just smooth well-executed basketball for four whole quarters.


Dwight Howard truly deserves the nickname Superman




Vince Carter is like a dancer or a ghost – he uncannily inserts himself in spots where he just shouldn’t be and scores beautifully. The threes are gorgeous, too




Glad to see Jason Williams again – one of the best passers ever




Thank you, basketball gods and ticket gifter.

GO MAGIC!

Random Funny 21st Century Silly Internet Crap

Wikipedia Vandalism (slideshow - right click on link to open in new window or tab - via HuffPo)


Anti-Facebook fun

Lamebook (The comments on this site are often funnier than the postings themselves)

South Park explains everything that is annoying about Facebook, via Gawker

Thank God/FSM/whoever your higher power is for the logic and reason of South Park.



From On ChatRoulette, featuring a flat-chested and unusually hirsute Lady Gaga in a messy room (NSFW)





Merton is becoming famous on ChatRoulette for giving an improvisational piano performance to the lucky ones who land on him





Want more Merton? Click here!


Ben Folds has been paying homage to Merton live in concert, with hilarious results





What a world we live in...

Packaging is out of hand these days

So I was at Costco the other day, and ran across the Kirkland by Borghese Mineral Color Collection. Looked like a nice makeup set at a reasonable price ($25.99 in the store), so I bit.

It came in this package





It took me forty-five goddamn minutes to get all the lil jars and brushes out of this freaking plastic packaging, including the use of an X-acto knife and a scissors. But that's not all! Once freed from this sarcophagus of a package, each little jar had not one, but TWO pieces of teeny tiny tape sealing them shut. AND, there is also a little plastic seal inside each jar that I had to use a hemostat to remove.

Costco, is this absolutely necessary? I might understand if it was poison or a firearm I was trying to liberate from this packaging, but this is freaking MAKEUP!!! Whoever designed this needs to be encased in it without food or water and attempt to free themselves.

Beezus? Really?

Not sure how I'm feeling about this trailer for Ramona and Beezus...






These books are special to me and to so many people who grew up with them. I revere Beverly Cleary for the way she could get into a child's head and communicate it on the page.

Along with her words, I remember the illustrations of Louis Darling





This last pic is how I see Beezus and Ramona in my bookish mind. Wasn't Beezus written over and over as a gawky, awkward pizzaface (i.e., zits)?

And if that's supposed to be Henry Huggins acting somewhat lovey toward Beezus in the trailer, that's just all sorts of wrong.

This is why I don't see movies adapted from books I love -- always disappointing. Yes, I know I'm passing judgment based on scant information, but I don't care. I'll keep Beezus, Ramona and Henry in my head right where Beverly Cleary and Louis Darling left them, thank you very much.

video via gawker

Family discord

This article was in my local paper this past Thursday, but apparently it has been published and re-published in many papers over a few months, which hopefully is a good thing...

Caught in a family battle? How to bring your crumbling clan back together

Not too long ago, a couple of my sisters and I attended a large family event -- a reunion for most of the attendees, but not necessarily for us since we'd never met most of them -- and it was a simply lovely experience. What kind, beautiful and friendly people they were, and what a joy it was to meet them. And the history! We learned much about our father's (and our) history and relatives and background that little was known of before.

Why were we not acquainted with these lovely family members prior to this? Was it possibly because of some stupid feud that was passed on through generations, as described in the article?

Actually, yes it was, which is tremendously sad, as it led to my father and his brother barely knowing their father, and us not knowing these beautiful people.

Similar discord continues in my family to this day, albeit for a heavier reason.

nice trick

Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, in 3d on IMAX

See it.

That is all.

I thought I was brave by flying into Midway on a regular basis

Chicago's Midway Airport, known as "the world's busiest square mile," has runways that are shorter than those of most major airports. When landing there, I often end up fighting the forward momentum in my seat due to the hard braking required to prevent ending up in the surrounding Chicago neighborhoods, like this



Running across this today makes me feel like a flying wimp, though. The World's Scariest Runways slideshow features video clips of frightening takeoffs and landings, sometimes mere feet over people's heads! This makes me appreciate the training and skill of the pilots and crew who get us safely up and down every single day around the world, even in the most harrowing of circumstances.

This picture belongs here

There's a new Shiba Inu puppy cam!

Kika, the mom of the original Shiba Inu 6 that became a livestreamed internet phenom, has a new litter! Only five this time, born on Saturday, January 16th. If you missed it the first time around, here's your second chance!

The original puppy cam was started so the owners could keep an eye on Kika and her pups while they were at work, and it went viral. People worldwide were heartbroken to see the pups leave Kika for other homes. Kika is a great doggy mom, and the people who run the cam are cool too. They almost never show themselves, and if they do it's only their hands or feet.

Let's watch some PUPPIES!!!

Free TV : Ustream
via dlisted

The latest Symphony of Science video just went up...

...and it is the best one yet! This one features naturalist David Attenborough and researcher Jane Goodall, as well as Carl Sagan. Ms. Goodall's contribution came from this talk she gave at the 2002 TED conference. The artistic depictions of cellular activity in this video are simply stunning.

The Unbroken Thread



The Symphony of Science

TED: Ideas worth spreading

P.S. Happy Birthday Patty!

Happy New Year!!

Feeling a little blue about those extra holiday pounds? Wishing there was something you could do to lose them without spending a fortune at the gym? You may have found your solution right here!

This guy might be able to help - he's quite...um...energetic and...intense





or you might like one of these - the demonstrator gal says she plays ball with her kids while she uses it! Oh my...

The chick in the blue shirt seems to recognize how wrong this all is





Flabby arms? This might be just what you need! I wonder if this is Michele Obama's secret...





and, there's one for men too!

Shake Weight For Men - watch more funny videos

Finally, if you can't get your butt just right no matter what you do, you can always fall back on these ;)





I am ashamed of myself for creating this post.